Halloween Ends (2022) review

Happy Halloween, everyone!

As we hit the end of another October, I find myself feeling festive, but also frustrated. If you're coming from my Facebook page, you may have noticed that the links to these reviews have been getting deleted, since for some reason, they're being considered spam by Facebook's arbitrary bullshit. I file an official Disagreement with the decision every time and have attempted to Report the problem, but I've gotten absolutely no response. It's an unnecessary annoyance to deal with, so I'm going to hold off on future reviews until December, when I tackle a new cinematic holiday. Don't worry, I'll be around, and feel free to leave suggestions in the Comments section below, as well as recommendations on how to deal with these deletions.

Okay, let's wrap this up! One of the most divisive horror movies came out recently, now let's see if I can divide it even further.

31. Halloween Ends (2022)

Directed by: David Gordon Green

Produced by: Malek Akkad, Jason Blum, Bill Block

Screenplay by: Paul Brad Logan, Chris Bernier, Danny McBride, David Gordon Green

Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Andi Matichak, Rohan Campbell, Will Patton, Kyle Richards, James Jude Courtney

“Halloween Ends.” Does anyone actually believe this will be the end? Well, it apparently is the last one helmed by Blumhouse Productions, and the last appearance by Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strode; and if this really is her final ride as the horror industry’s most iconic final girl, I can safely say that this is a much more satisfying conclusion for the character than her turn in “Halloween: Resurrection.” But what does that say for the movie itself? “Halloween Kills” may have been divisive, but it at least had the familiar look and hit the familiar beats of a “Halloween” film. This one tries to go in a different direction, not quite to a “Season of the Witch” degree, but still unlike anything you’d expect in a Michael Myers (James Jude Courtney) movie. And for the first half-hour, I think it works; but once you realize what direction it’s going, it becomes a sloppy, ridiculous, overbearing piece of work.

Four years after the carnage of the previous two movies, in which The Shape murdered a few dozen people in Haddonfield and then just disappeared, the town is still struggling to cope, Laurie especially with the death of her daughter. She’s now attempting to move on, living in a new house with Allyson (Andi Matichak) and writing a memoir. Meanwhile, a young man named Corey Cunningham (Rohan Campbell) is also trying to move on, three years after accidentally killing a boy he babysat named Jeremy (Jaxon Goldberg). But he’s treated like a pariah, except for Laurie and Allyson, who are also seen as outcasts and indirectly responsible for Michael’s rampage. Despite their attempts at comfort, a violent encounter with high school marching band bullies—those exist?—results in Corey slipping down his own dark path and forging an unlikely bond in the process.

It’s honestly difficult to break down my problems with this movie without getting into spoilers; but like I said, the initial 20-30 minutes were keeping me invested. I like the idea these movies present that when tragic events occur, the story continues with more than just the survivors you know and love. We see some of the near aftermath, where any accident or murder is suspected to be Michael, to the point where Deputy Hawkins (Will Patton) has to clarify, “Michael Myers doesn’t use a gun.” It harkens back to the lore and mythos of the original, equating him to the Boogeyman that could potentially be anywhere or anyone. That seems to be how they’re presenting Corey’s story, and the movie does a good job making you feel his horrendous circumstance, that a mistake was made and he has to live with it, but people who are either angry, ignorant or just looking for a villain to hate would rather see him burn.

However, when his arc begins to directly relate to The Shape, that’s when the movie unravels for me; nothing about Michael’s characteristics feels in-character, and the way Corey is supposed to be influenced is so random. It feels like the film wants to have it both ways: it wants to show the deterioration of a psychotic mind, but it also wants to be a Michael Myers slasher flick, and the final product is the worst of both worlds. Michael is put into situations that make absolutely no sense, while Rohan Campbell sells the sympathetic moments, but then starts going with these expressions that are more funny than disturbing, and gets some really lame dialogue to boot; no one says “Evil dies tonight,” but they do say stuff like, “If I can’t have her, no one can.” That reminds me; I think Andi Matichak could have a solid future, but Allyson is really dumb here. You’d think she be all guarded and suspicious, but she spends most of her screen time looking like a simpering puppy; there’s potential in diving into her and Corey’s relationship, but it’s just awkward and even kind of silly. The intentional humor again works okay, but there are performances and interactions that are so over-the-top, it’s laughable.

While Curtis is sadly not immune to the inconsistent writing, whenever she’s on screen the movie feels more coherent, even though she becomes part of another misguided attempt at victim-blaming social commentary that just comes across as forced. Regardless, her passion for this role and the “Halloween” lore are still prominent, even though once again, the story seems unsure on how much to focus on her. By the time we get to the climax, with her and Michael taking part in one more chase inside a dark house, it’s a mixed bag because the suspense is there and in some ways it’s what we’ve wanted all along, but it doesn’t match what the plot had built up to, and it’s over too quickly. Michael himself isn’t even threatening; he’s barely an afterthought, and the kills aren’t photographed especially well. The only memorable one involves a knife, a tongue and a turntable, though I must admit, it injected a lot of life into the movie, as it was getting to be a laborious experience for me.

When I first saw the 2018 version of “Halloween,” I was excited, because I felt like this franchise was being guided by people who really understood the appeal of what made John Carpenter’s classic so scary. But it seems they couldn’t capture that same creative lightning in a bottle again, as each of the next two installments failed for different reasons. There are a lot of iconic moments that come to mind in these movies—a whopping 13 total—but I think the only thing I’ll remember about “Halloween Ends” is the ending, which I’ll reiterate is a worthwhile conclusion for the Laurie/Michael dynamic, and clearly meant as a definitive finale. I think that alone will give it box office clout, which will likely lead to the franchise being rebooted again someday. But despite that, it’s a film that represents frustration for me; it takes some bold risks, but without a sturdy or sensible foundation to stand on, it quickly falls apart and never puts itself back together.

My rating: 4.5/10